Connecting at its worst and best!

Una and I talk about being prepared to give of yourself, your ideas, your resources and your contacts openly and willingly to those you meet.

Last night I went to a great fundraiser locally and it reminded me of the consequences of holding back and at the same time the advantages of giving.

The restaurant we booked bent over backwards during the booking saying yes to everything including closing its doors to the public so we could have the place to ourselves. We arranged speeches (fun and more serious). an entertainer and of course the compulsory raffle draw! :-)

When we arrived there were other diners and the manager refused to accept that he had said he would close. Infact he continued to let people in. The entertainer arrived and the manager said he had no prior knowledge of this (not true) and that as there were other diners this was making his life really difficult. He put up the prices of his drinks (verified by regular users of this establishment) and generally treated our guests in a surly manner.

It didn't stop us though - we were all determined to have a great time and using our best assertiveness techniques we managed to get the entertainer in.

Before we sat down to eat, one of the guests commented that he was surprised we didn't use the restaurant next door as they had a great relationship with them and then went on to say "infact let's pop round maybe they'll give us a prize in the raffle" This we duly did and they were thrilled to contribute a £30 restaurant voucher as a prize wishing us a wonderful evening... no conditions, no exceptions just given with kind hearted openness. As we walked back in to our restaurant, we thought we might as well ask if they would donate a prize as we were holding the event there on what would have been an extremely quiet night otherwise... maybe just a  bottle of wine. "No" was his reply.

As the night went on and everyone had finished eating, we went around with the raffle tickets and included the other diners (by this time there were only 4 tables) The diners on the first table were indignant that they had been asked but you know what they were quite happy to stay for a further hour and enjoy our very funny entertainment - interesting! Two of the other diners both won prizes in our raffle and soon became part of our extended 'family' Enjoying it so much they asked to be on the mailing list for future events.

So the point of my story is two fold

1. Which of the diners had the best experience and why?
2. Which restaurant did we recommend to our 75 guests who. because of the experience are absolutely going to make a point of visiting it soon!

“All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.” 
― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan


Trust in the goodness of others ans expect nothing - just act. Think about how you can support others every day.

Have fun!

Seek first to understand

Typically we seek to be understood. 

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand. They listen with the intent to reply.   

They are either speaking or preparing to speak. 

They are filtering everything and interpreting it in the context of their own lives.

And in today's world of instant communication with tweets, facebook notifications and emails popping up all the time the problem is compounded. Just take a minute to reflect on some of your conversations over the past 2 days..... would you have made the other person/people feel like the most important people in the world? If not, then you are falling short in your journey to becoming a Learning Entrepreneur... read on!

Levels of listening

Four common levels of listening have been identified, they are:

1. Ignoring.
2. Pretending to listen - i.e. “Right”, “Yeah, Yeah”, “OK, OK”.
3. Selective listening - hearing only certain parts of the conversation that have a particular interest for them.
4. Attentive listening – paying attention and focusing on the words.

Empathetic listening

The highest form of listening is empathetic listening, in other words listening with the intent to understand.  It involves more than registering the words that are spoken; it involves trying to understand what the person is saying, feeling and thinking.

To develop empathetic listening use your ears, eyes and heart.

You listen for feeling, meaning and behaviour.

This approach is a power resource for your networking helping you access needs that will enable you to fully connect with that person and offer tools/ people/ resources that might be of use to them. 

So over to you, will your listening be a power resource or a power zapper?

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The joy of networking